important lists for travel in China

Things You Might See on a Menu:
(we did)
tripe
chicken claws
conch cooked, and served, in the shell
deep fried baby pidgeon
pigs ears
donkey meat
bullfrog

Tips for Urban Survival, Chinese style:

use the locals as a human shield -- only cross the street behind a group of them
keep your ears tuned to the sound of hawking. Look out for globs of spit.
never carry so much that you might have to put it down on the ground. Ever.
Carry kleenex or toilet paper at all times. hoard paper. The napkin from lunch might be a lifesaver.
Lower your standards about sanitation. Don't think about the kitchen in any restaurant.
Street food: wait and watch. See it prepared for a local, Chinese person, and listen to how much he pays for it. Your foreign face will invite very high prices.
This applies to things other than food as well.
Develop thigh muscles for weeks in advance -- this will help with squatting in bathrooms on moving trains.
Understand that "toilet" means a porcelain seat embedded in the floor. Don't keep things in your back pocket.
Never pay sticker price. Offer less than half. Haggle -- you're supposed to. If the price is too high, walk away.


How to Spot a Chinese Tour Group:

they walk in formation, like good little Communists, more or less
they all wear baseball hats of the same bright color
they follow a guide who carries a triangular flag on a pole
(I'm not making this up)

What to Do When You Spot a Chinese Tour Group:
understand they stop for no one
understand you can't get through them, under them, or over them
you might get around them, at your own risk
if they are in front of you, give up on seeing the exhibit
waiting doesn't help -- there's another group coming in right behind them. The only difference is the people in that group are wearing hats of a different color.

How To Spot a Chinese Airplane Crew in a Chinese Airport:

They are all wearing the exact same version of the same uniform.
They have beautiful, young faces and perfect bodies. (Was this a criteria for hiring?)
They walk in single or double file, paces synchronized.
The pilot leads.
They all keep chins up and smile as they walk.

What You See When You Get on a Chinese Airplane:

Double the crew you see on American airplanes.
All crew members are young and very beautiful.
One will be stationed every four rows to assist you in getting settled.
They serve you green tea and a fresh newspaper in Chinese or English, your choice.